How to Make the Mother of Your Child Feel Special: a Guide for Dads
Starting a family is a huge and life-changing deal, and it’s not one that comes easily for most. Babies are very disruptive. They take so much care and attention that it can easily mean your relationship with your partner takes a back seat as a result. This is fine. It’s important to not just keep your infant alive but help your new baby thrive. That doesn’t mean that putting all your energy into your baby alone is okay for the long term.
You need to actively work on maintaining a close connection with your partner during this trying time. When the both of you are sleep deprived, stressed out, and settling into your new routines, it can be all too easy to let your relationship go on the back burner.
That’s for you. For her, there’s the mess of emotions, hormones, and stress that comes with coming down from a pregnancy on top of breastfeeding and being a mother. In short, don’t expect her to pull the heavy lifting right now. She’s still deep in recovery mode, so do yourself, and your relationship a favor and use these tips to help her feel special. It will boost her mood, bring you closer, and help you reignite that ever-important sense of intimacy, no matter how that intimacy chooses to express itself.
Make Her Feel Beautiful
Giving birth can be really hard on the body, and the recovery process can be long, painful, and not exactly pretty. Your partner will likely feel like a stranger in her body during this period, especially if she’s older and doesn’t bounce right back. It’s so important that you make her feel special, and, most importantly, beautiful. Be more vocal about how beautiful you find her, especially when she’s at her worst.
You should also plan things so she can feel beautiful, too. After a certain period of time, you’ll be able to leave your baby with a trusted adult, like one of your parents, so that you can go for a date night. Plan something special when this happens to give her an excuse to dress up the way she feels is best.
You can also give her gifts that aren’t related to motherhood. Something special, just for her. Stunning jewelry is always a great choice, as it’s adult, it helps her feel pretty, and it’s a gift you’ve given her as a woman, not a mother. Let other people spoil her as a mom; you need to spoil her as your partner. You can even save (and help out a charity) by looking up discount codes before you check out. A Ross-Simons coupon, for example, can help you save (which is always important when you’re a parent) while also splurging for a little something special for your partner.
Treat her Special At Home, Even If It’s Once in Awhile
From breakfast in bed to washing her hair to giving her a massage. There are many excellent acts of service that can help her destress while also bringing you two together emotionally and physically. You should always be trying to share in the weight of parenthood, but to go that extra step to also work towards taking care of her is where it will really matter. For the sake of your relationship and your sense of intimacy, treat her to these affections as often as you can.
Start Intimate Routines
You both need to work towards feeling that intimacy, even if sex isn’t in the picture. A good way to do this is to establish grounding routines. Things as simple as skin-to-skin contact during cuddling while you share your thoughts, fears, and feelings with one another in the night before you go to bed. This sort of ritual can happen at any time during the day, so if your baby is still too young to give you a consistent routine, you can take advantage of the moments you can (like when your infant is napping).
No matter what you and your partner decide on, put your relationship as a priority. How well you manage during this new period of your lives is going to matter – a lot. Done well, you can forge a stronger relationship than ever before, so long as you’re both pulling your weight in terms of childcare and actively working on strengthening your emotional bond.
