Control is an essential element in maintaining order in different areas of life, but when it crosses into the realm of personal relationships, it can lead to harmful situations. A relationship should ideally be a space of mutual respect, love, and understanding. However, sometimes, this harmony is disrupted by the emergence of controlling behaviour. Understanding what constitutes this behavior and identifying it can be the first step toward addressing and rectifying the issue. In this article, we will discuss the various signs that indicate the presence of controlling people in relationships.

 

Identifying Emotional Manipulation

One of the most insidious signs of controlling behavior is emotional manipulation. It can take various forms, such as guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or constant criticism aimed at lowering your self-esteem. Gaslighting, for instance, involves the manipulator denying reality or twisting facts to make you question your own memory, perception, and sanity. This methodical psychological manipulation is employed to gain control and power in a relationship. If your partner often makes you feel guilty, insecure, or confused about your own feelings and experiences, it may be a sign of emotional manipulation.

 

The Restriction of Personal Freedom

Control in a relationship can also manifest as a restriction of personal freedom. A controlling partner might impose restrictions on your social interactions, dictating who you can and cannot meet. They may also attempt to limit your access to resources such as money, transportation, or communication devices, which could greatly restrict your ability to live independently or escape the relationship if you feel threatened. If you're in a relationship where you feel trapped or where your everyday actions are heavily monitored, you are likely dealing with a controlling partner.

Excessive Jealousy and Possessiveness

Another sign of controlling behavior in a relationship is excessive jealousy and possessiveness. While a certain level of jealousy can be normal in relationships, when it becomes intense and irrational, it's a red flag. Controlling partners often view their significant others as possessions rather than individuals with their own thoughts, feelings, and desires. This might lead them to excessively monitor your actions, track your whereabouts, or become overly upset if you spend time with others. Jealousy and possessiveness can create an oppressive environment and signify a controlling relationship.

 

Attempting to Change Your Personality or Appearance

A controlling partner may try to change your personality or appearance to fit their preferences. This might involve criticizing your behavior, your choices in clothing, your hobbies, or even your friends and family. The aim is to mold you into their ideal partner, often without considering your own comfort or happiness. This type of behavior can be damaging to your self-esteem and identity.

Need for Constant Reassurance and Approval

A controlling person in a toxic relationship often seeks constant reassurance and approval. They may require you to affirm your love for them repeatedly or ask for your constant attention. They may also want you to agree with their opinions or decisions unconditionally. This constant need for reassurance and approval is not about love or affection; it is about maintaining control and influence over you.

 

Overall, relationships should be built on mutual respect, trust, and understanding. Controlling behavior is detrimental to these fundamental principles. If you notice signs like emotional manipulation, restriction of personal freedom, excessive jealousy, attempts to alter your personality or the need for constant reassurance in your relationship, it's essential to address these issues promptly. Seek help from a trusted friend, family member, or a professional, such as a therapist. Remember, everyone deserves a healthy, respectful, and loving relationship. Do not let controlling people stand in the way of your happiness, well-being, and future.