Watching a child grow into an independent adult can bring a mixture of pride and concern. As young adults begin making their own decisions about work, relationships, socialising and alcohol, parents may find it difficult to know when normal experimentation has become something more concerning. 

While drinking does not automatically indicate a problem, unhealthy attitudes towards alcohol can sometimes be early warning signs of harmful drinking or developing alcohol withdrawal.

Recognising these signs does not mean jumping to conclusions. Instead, it means being aware of changes in behaviour and maintaining an open conversation.

When Alcohol Becomes Part of Everyday Life

One potential warning sign is when alcohol begins to take up an increasingly important place in a young adult's routine.

This could involve regularly drinking after work or university, looking forward to drinking more than other activities, or feeling that social occasions are not enjoyable without alcohol. Someone may also start planning their week around opportunities to drink.

The NHS identifies regularly drinking more than intended, difficulty cutting down and continuing to drink despite problems as signs that alcohol use may have become harmful.

The ‘I Deserve a Drink’ Mentality

It is worth paying attention to the reasons someone gives for drinking.

Using alcohol occasionally to celebrate is very different from believing that alcohol is necessary to cope with stress, anxiety, boredom, loneliness or difficult emotions.

A young adult who repeatedly says they need a drink to relax after work, forget about a difficult day or feel confident socially may be developing an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

This does not necessarily mean they are dependent, but it can indicate that alcohol is becoming a coping mechanism rather than simply something they choose to consume.

Drinking More Than Intended

Another important sign is losing control over how much is consumed.

A young adult may intend to have one or two drinks but regularly end up drinking considerably more. They might make promises to themselves to cut down, only to find themselves drinking heavily again a few days later.

Frequent hangovers, memory loss, missed commitments or regretted behaviour can also indicate that drinking is beginning to interfere with everyday life.

Regularly drinking more than 14 units a week increases health risks, according to NHS guidance, while heavy drinking on a single occasion can also increase the risk of accidents and other harms.

Changes in Behaviour and Relationships

Parents may notice changes that have little to do with alcohol itself.

Becoming more secretive, experiencing sudden mood changes, withdrawing from family or losing interest in activities they previously enjoyed may all warrant attention. Changes in sleep, appearance, finances or social circles can also sometimes accompany problematic substance use.

Of course, these behaviours can have many possible explanations and should not automatically be attributed to alcohol. The important thing is to look for patterns rather than isolated incidents.

How Should Parents Start the Conversation?

Approaching the subject can be difficult, particularly if a young adult is defensive about their drinking.

Choosing a calm moment when they are sober is usually more productive than confronting them during or immediately after drinking. Try to express concern rather than making accusations.

Instead of saying, ‘You drink too much’, it may be more helpful to say, ‘I've noticed you've been drinking more recently, and I'm worried about you.’

The NHS recommends being gentle but direct when parents suspect excessive drinking or drug use, while avoiding judgement and giving young people an opportunity to explain their perspective.

Knowing When to Encourage Help

If drinking is affecting a young adult's health, relationships, work or ability to control their consumption, it may be time to encourage professional support.

A GP or alcohol support service can provide confidential advice and help someone understand whether their drinking has become problematic.

Parents should also remember that they cannot force someone to change. Offering support, listening without judgement and encouraging professional help can be more effective than trying to control their behaviour.

If a young adult has been drinking heavily or regularly and experiences withdrawal symptoms, they should seek medical advice before stopping suddenly, as alcohol withdrawal can sometimes be dangerous.

Ultimately, recognising unhealthy attitudes towards alcohol is about noticing patterns, not labelling someone. An open conversation today could help prevent a much more serious problem tomorrow.